jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
