i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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