Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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