gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
