why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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