Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
