I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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