She said her name was "party"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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