I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
