idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
