4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
