is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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