Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
