Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
