It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
