Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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