I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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