I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
