i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
