this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
