.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
