He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
