i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
