& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
