if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
