he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
