I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
