used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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