Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
