Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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