Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
