So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
