If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I supernannyed him into submission
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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