Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
