This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
