dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just want nice things and good sex
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
