I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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