Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
