he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
