all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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