As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
