new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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