tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
