I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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