Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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