I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
