Screwed.edu
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
