3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I want her autograph on my taint
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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