are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
