Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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