Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
