my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
