i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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