I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So vagazzling was a success
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
