i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
