You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
