i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
